I am the sort of person who always wants to find a larger purpose to every single one of my actions, and you will rarely see me do anything just for the sake of it. I get so worked up that given any major decision, I think about the decade long impacts that each and every choice I make can have on my life as a whole. Should I walk to work instead of taking the subway? What if this means that I am outside when it starts to rain, which means I have to bring an umbrella, and then I will forget the umbrella because it is not raining later and two weeks from now when it is pouring rain, I will get soaked! This becomes particularly drastic when it comes to dating. Why go on this date if I see no romantic future? Sure they are a fun person to spend time with, but why date them or develop anything serious if I simply cannot see it ending in marriage? Why put in the investment, both time wise and emotionally to someone who you are 99.99% likely to one day breakup with and never speak to again?

This is where dating for the experience might come into the mix. This, to me, doesn’t really mean developing long-term relationships with people for the experience, since I feel like this has the potential to lead to heartbreak, but how about just going on another date with that quirky boy that you met on OkCupid, JDate, Coffee Meets Bagel, Bounce, or whatever obscure dating app that you happen to use because frankly, why the heck not.

In my mind, dating for the experience is first and foremost a social exercise. It is great practice in communication and developing meaningful conversations with people conversationally. As someone to whom this doesn’t come completely naturally, it has been quite helpful to me. Dating for fun can also help you meet people who share your mutual desire to just have fun. Not everyone is looking for the one, and some people are just looking for someone to go out with and have fun with every once in a while in a less than formal setting. No, this doesn’t necessarily mean FWB sort of relationship, your jsut for fun date can be your mini golf, foodie partner too!

Dating for fun can also prepare you for a more serious relationship in the future. You can become more confident sharing about yourself and your past. You can test different flirtations, stories and moves on just for fun dates so that you know how they will go over next time. You can learn how to carry yourself on dates, be less nervous and take yourself less seriously. Maybe even the more you practice dating for fun, the more fun and less extremely stressful all dates might become. There is also something about putting yourself out there and meeting people that can make you feel personally more available and open and ready to love. Getting those awkward date compliments, while tacky and often cringe-inducing, can turn out to be a real confidence booster! “I just want to swim in your curls. They are so bouncy. Can I touch?”

Lastly, it is my opinion that these dates for fun can one day prepare you for finding THE ONE. You aren’t going to meet anyone sitting in your room watching Netflix, no matter how enticing that might be, trust me I understand your struggle. Even if this isn’t a one-on-one date per se, go to that speed dating event, go to the random singles event that you heard about on meetup, hit up that singles bar, go on that weird blind date that you’ve been set up on because not only do you never know what might happen, but you never know the positive outcomes that it can have in the future.