Tag: dating apps

An Incomplete Guide to Quarantine Dating

An Incomplete Guide to Quarantine Dating

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

It has been quite a while since I posted, but I realized that as a self-appointed dating in NYC aficionado, I have an obligation to the world to share some helpful tips on how to date during quarantine.

Side note: Yes, NY is no longer in the coronavirus mess that it was in before, but this does not mean you should be going on your usual in-person dates with people. I am a self-appointed chronic dating expert, not a self-appointed medical expert, don’t take this as absolute truth, but please do not accept those invitiations from the Bob’s and Karen’s of the world to stop by their place on a early Friday evening. Who knows where they’ve been!

Meet a cute person on Hinge and ready to take it a step further? Here are some dating ideas that are completely manageable and safe during the quarantine:

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Guide to Tinder Profile Photos

Guide to Tinder Profile Photos

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Dearest Men of the World,

I am writing you this letter out of love, not anger or annoyance. I sincerely hope you take this message with grace and a desire to change rather than a need to rebel, as my intent is to only aid in your future romantic endeavors, no matter what your desired outcome might be. I have recently noticed a serious decrease in the overall quality of your Tinder profile pictures. I am only partially talking about those of you whose pictures are too blurry to decipher or just lack proper photograph proportions in general (in those cases, I would be more than happy to provide you who live in NYC with a principles of photography class for 100 dollars an hour.)

In an effort to help you, I am going to start off by listing some of the very best type of tinder profile pictures and then highlight some of the very worst. Please take note. I am happy to officiate any wedding that these profile changes might lead to. Just give me a little bit to get ordained online.

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100 Date Ideas for 100% Compatible People

100 Date Ideas for 100% Compatible People

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Want to go on a date with a person you’ve been chatting with, but really can’t pick a place? Have them pick a number 1-100 for some inspiration.

  1. Get drinks at a bar
  2. Get drinks at a speakeasy
  3. Get drinks at a restaurant
  4. Go to a bar and drink nothing, just mooch off the free space
  5. Coffee in a coffee shop
  6. Coffee and a walk
  7. Coffee and sit in a park

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Why You Should NEVER Go Back to His Apartment

Why You Should NEVER Go Back to His Apartment

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Going back to someone’s apartment can be scary for many reasons! You never truly know what to expect when you go back to the place where someone lives when you have only known them for a few hours. It can be absurdly personal and say a lot about what the person is like. Including it being a plot to plan your potential murder, here are a few reasons why you should ABSOLUTELY NEVER do it:

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A Cold One With The Boys

A Cold One With The Boys

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Recently I had a conversation with a boy, who I will call Granoopulus, for no reason other than the fact that I want to preserve his anonymity and I think it suits him, about the true meaning of “cracking a cold one with the boys”. When, at least I think of “cracking a cold one with the boys”, I think of WILD BRO CULTURE and frat bros in Animal House getting ridiculously drunk together and wreaking havoc on the world and being absurdly offensive to all non-white males.

However, I think that the idea of “cracking a cold one with the boys” is much more stigmatized and complicated than one would think. The more men that I meet here in NYC, the more faith that I have in the male population as a whole. One could also think that the act of cracking a cold one could defy gender roles and anyone could be a part of ‘the boys’ under the condition that they were all harmoniously drinking in unison. I never thought about this too deeply, since I think that the entire idea of calling drinking with friends “cracking a cold one” quite absurd, but that is besides the point. Granoopulus let me know that cracking a cold one with the boys is less of an action and more of a feeling of intense joy and catharticus that comes with cracking a beer with a bunch of your male-identifying friends.

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The Deal Breakers: A Summary of Dating Men Shorter Than You Who Are Allergic to Cats

The Deal Breakers: A Summary of Dating Men Shorter Than You Who Are Allergic to Cats

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I would consider myself to be an average size person. Though even though I do not have the experience nor the romantical bandwidth to support it, I do have larger than average standards. I do not have many deal breakers (I like to tell myself), but my main ones are the boy MAY NOT be allergic to cats (MUST enjoy feline company) and they MAY NOT be smaller than me. When I am in a relationship (I have never been in a relationship), I like to feel like a guy is tall enough to wrap his arms around me, to not have to be on his tippy-toes to kiss me, and even to protect me. I know that is some patriarchal BS that I should not be supporting as the feminist liberal that I am, but I can’t help it! Read more ›

Four is great, six is fate!: AKA a triple date can be even worse than a double date bc I am cursed

Four is great, six is fate!: AKA a triple date can be even worse than a double date bc I am cursed

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

As you may already predict about me from the one and only blog post that I have written so far, I am a bit addicted to awkwardness. Yes, I regret it in the moment and it causes my stomach and heart to feel like they are being squeezed by a gremlin, but once it is over, I am confident in the fact that the residual awkwardness not only shapes the stories that I ADORE to tell my friends but my identity as a human being within this extremely awkward place that we call earth.

I think this was largely why I was not satisfied with the double tinder date that I went on. Was it unbearable at times, yes? Was it one of the most socially grueling times of my entire life, for sure. Did I simply need to do it again no matter how completely awful it went, ya betcha I did. For the next few weeks, all I did was petition my friend Raimee to have us go on another one. I begged and pleaded, but even Rachel, whose date did not go completely awfully, had better things to do, obviously, then go on a bad date with two random boys she did not know and probably would never see again. But for me, that was the dang best part! Why worry about the annoying task of accidentally friend zoning every single boy you ever meet? Read more ›

The Art of the Tinder Double Date

The Art of the Tinder Double Date

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The awkwardness of Tinder dates. Sitting awkwardly at a rocky table at some random divey Irish pub in the East Village. You glance over at your somewhat attractive, yet overly confident and way to self-indignant tinder date as he enters minute 10 of his rambling speech about his traumatic childhood experience on the playground that led to his brief stint as a third-place contender in his high school’s JV wrestling team. Your head bobs with extreme fake enthusiasm as your body says “Get me the HELL out of here.” You glance down at your phone, desperately wanting to give your friend the complete rundown of how the date went down. No detail too small to be left out. Mark awkwardly did the yawn trick to try to put his arm around you, she must know. Do you want to know the only way that this horrible date could be even better? If this friend was there with you and there was another god-awful man at the same table with you! Read more ›