Tag: tinder

An Incomplete Guide to Quarantine Dating

An Incomplete Guide to Quarantine Dating

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

It has been quite a while since I posted, but I realized that as a self-appointed dating in NYC aficionado, I have an obligation to the world to share some helpful tips on how to date during quarantine.

Side note: Yes, NY is no longer in the coronavirus mess that it was in before, but this does not mean you should be going on your usual in-person dates with people. I am a self-appointed chronic dating expert, not a self-appointed medical expert, don’t take this as absolute truth, but please do not accept those invitiations from the Bob’s and Karen’s of the world to stop by their place on a early Friday evening. Who knows where they’ve been!

Meet a cute person on Hinge and ready to take it a step further? Here are some dating ideas that are completely manageable and safe during the quarantine:

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Guide to Tinder Profile Photos

Guide to Tinder Profile Photos

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Dearest Men of the World,

I am writing you this letter out of love, not anger or annoyance. I sincerely hope you take this message with grace and a desire to change rather than a need to rebel, as my intent is to only aid in your future romantic endeavors, no matter what your desired outcome might be. I have recently noticed a serious decrease in the overall quality of your Tinder profile pictures. I am only partially talking about those of you whose pictures are too blurry to decipher or just lack proper photograph proportions in general (in those cases, I would be more than happy to provide you who live in NYC with a principles of photography class for 100 dollars an hour.)

In an effort to help you, I am going to start off by listing some of the very best type of tinder profile pictures and then highlight some of the very worst. Please take note. I am happy to officiate any wedding that these profile changes might lead to. Just give me a little bit to get ordained online.

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I think I’ve found my soul mate and now im buying Hinge: A Saga in the Form of a Letter

I think I’ve found my soul mate and now im buying Hinge: A Saga in the Form of a Letter

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Dearest Friend and Reader,

As I sit on the train, headed all the way to the opposite side of the
city on a train bound for midtown, I must reflect on the boys lost and
those of the future.

Simply put, as I sat on my L train emerging into civilization from the
deep, dark middle of nowhere depths of Ridgewood, Queens, I can not
help but open my handy dandy free dating apps and begin to swipe. As I
swish and swish my finger back and forth through the meaningless
pictures of idiotic boys who do unbelievably idiotic things like write
“man” as their profession, I stumble upon the ONE. Unfortunately, at
this point in my life, I had run out of likes, yet I can still promise
with the utmost sincerity and absoluteness that this man is the man
for me.

Here are the criteria that make be POSITIVE that darling TJ is such a
perfect match. In no particular order:

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Perks of Tinder Gold (In the form of a poem)

Perks of Tinder Gold (In the form of a poem)

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The other day, while sitting with a friend, bored on my bed,

“Let’s go swiping on each other’s Tinder”, she simply said,

I really couldn’t help but agree,

Because swiping on other’s phones just fills me with glee.

As we went through the many profiles and pics,

We got barely any matches, not getting our fix.

Though we swiped on our favorites, it wasn’t a match,

Unless you consider a guy with an anime character profile a catch.

As we ran out of likes, an option suddenly appeared on screen,

Though Tinder Gold was something we had frequently seen,

After our failure, we decided to try it,

See what could be gleaned….

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100 Date Ideas for 100% Compatible People

100 Date Ideas for 100% Compatible People

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Want to go on a date with a person you’ve been chatting with, but really can’t pick a place? Have them pick a number 1-100 for some inspiration.

  1. Get drinks at a bar
  2. Get drinks at a speakeasy
  3. Get drinks at a restaurant
  4. Go to a bar and drink nothing, just mooch off the free space
  5. Coffee in a coffee shop
  6. Coffee and a walk
  7. Coffee and sit in a park

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A Love Story Through Verse

A Love Story Through Verse

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

A few nights ago I went on a date,

In search of love and a potential mate.

We met at a bar in a place called Alphabet City,

Though the street was quite quiet,

The bar was quite pretty.

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Why You Should NEVER Go Back to His Apartment

Why You Should NEVER Go Back to His Apartment

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Going back to someone’s apartment can be scary for many reasons! You never truly know what to expect when you go back to the place where someone lives when you have only known them for a few hours. It can be absurdly personal and say a lot about what the person is like. Including it being a plot to plan your potential murder, here are a few reasons why you should ABSOLUTELY NEVER do it:

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Stranger Danger! How to Not Talk to Men on Dating Apps

Stranger Danger! How to Not Talk to Men on Dating Apps

by Kayla ♥ 3 Comments

Friends, I have a few pieces of advice for all of you in how to avoid the those awkward conversations with boys where they start with a tacky pick up line like “I am not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together”, or more specific to me since all my pictures are of cats – “I can’t decide who’s cuter, you or your cat”. Or, even worse, people who want to go straight to the down and dirty. Bro, i do not know you. I do not want that. Or the worst, the nice, friendly guy who seems really cool but ghosts you in the middle of your halfway decent conversation. Here are a few friendly tips and suggestions.

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Tis the Art of Friendzoning

Tis the Art of Friendzoning

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

To those of you who have read my posts, you probably have complete faith in my complete lack of dating skills and anything related to that. As a matter of fact, you have heard my struggles and insanely awkward experiences attempting to do anything even remotely, vaguely related to an attempt to date further than the first date. However, one thing that I would never, and no one should ever distrust my experience in is the Art of Friendzoning.  Read more ›

The Deal Breakers: A Summary of Dating Men Shorter Than You Who Are Allergic to Cats

The Deal Breakers: A Summary of Dating Men Shorter Than You Who Are Allergic to Cats

by Kayla ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I would consider myself to be an average size person. Though even though I do not have the experience nor the romantical bandwidth to support it, I do have larger than average standards. I do not have many deal breakers (I like to tell myself), but my main ones are the boy MAY NOT be allergic to cats (MUST enjoy feline company) and they MAY NOT be smaller than me. When I am in a relationship (I have never been in a relationship), I like to feel like a guy is tall enough to wrap his arms around me, to not have to be on his tippy-toes to kiss me, and even to protect me. I know that is some patriarchal BS that I should not be supporting as the feminist liberal that I am, but I can’t help it! Read more ›